New Year's resolutions help us focus on what's important
By Kathy Melamed
Clinical Communication Director
As we cross paths in hospice and other medical settings, patients, families and caregivers have given me countless ‘life gifts’—lessons and encouragements. One that I observed early in my career was that people who are faced with serious, life-altering medical conditions seem immediately able to identify what is truly and deeply important and what is not. So many irritations, conflicts and pet peeves fade in significance as large, urgent and profound issues push to the forefront, demanding lots of physical and emotional energy. Not that small talk isn’t helpful as a pleasant distraction sometimes—it is! But, folks who are facing serious health issues have clarity about what is really important, and that can be such a blessing.
So, how does that relate to the annual challenge of New Year’s resolutions? We have all made them. A few of us have actually been able to follow through on one or two of them (Maybe I have, but I can’t remember when). We may be inclined to reject the ritual of making resolutions altogether, as it has been embarrassing and disheartening when we “fail.”
Yet, at the beginning of the New Year, there is this tradition of taking time to reflect and then to let go of the past year. We are drawn to the opportunity to refresh and renew our energy, our outlook, our resolve. In an important way, taking this time is an expression of the HOPE that keeps us going through even the toughest challenges of caregiving. We hope for some good, meaningful time, for continued connection with loved ones, healing and nurturing, some success, no matter how we define that.
Perhaps, we define the future in terms of minutes and days, rather than looking ahead to the whole of 2013. Perhaps we relish the clarity about what is truly important. Perhaps the resolutions can be about just being ourselves in this caregiving role and being all right with the ups and downs as they come.
What are you thinking about the New Year? Are you making resolutions? I would like to know.
If we were logical, the future would be bleak indeed. But we are more than logical. We are human beings, and we have faith, and we have hope, and we can work.
–Jacques Cousteau
Wishing you peace and courage today and tomorrow.
I have resolved to take better care of me in 2013, to make time for myself to enjoy a few things i like to do and not feel guilty if i just sit and relax when i get home or go to bed early if i am tired. I plan to eat healthier and hopefully lose some unwanted pounds, pray and be thankful ...... :)
You go, girl! Here is some encouragement for the direction you are choosing:
“Self-care is an essential part of caregiving. If you feel guilty when you want to take time off and care for yourself, remember you can give more freely and effectively when you’ve replenished yourself.” From Caregiver Therapy, Julie Kuebelbeck and Victoria O’Connor.
Please give care to yourself that is as generous as the care you give to others. Nice to hear from you, Linda.
Hummm - I will try to eat less chocolate, but I encourage all of you to eat more and then I shall feel really good. Be grateful in 2013. Love just one person more than you already do. Thank you HOV for all your support in 2012. I love you all. Anne
You are most welcome, Anne. I hope, as you eat less chocolate, that you still savor each and every bite. Enjoy. And thanks for your comment.
Thank you Kathy for that wonderful piece of advice! My resolution is to not need to make resolutions lol! Wouldn't that be nice? Not to say goals aren't important because they are but I think we do tend to let ourselves down when we say ok beginning January 1st...... Making short term and long term goals for ourselves is just as important throughout the year as it is for our patients! This not only keeps our sights on a prize so to speak but also keeps us on track and focused on a way to improve our lives! Happy New Year!
I agree, Sandra. Taking the time and opportunity to reflect on how we are spending time and energy is a great way to stay on track--or to switch tracks when we recognize that a different direction may be a better one. Thanks for your thoughts. Happy New Year to you too.
I enjoy my work because it is a great reminder of how good life really is. My resolutions for 2013 include revisiting my educational goals and making more time to meditate, exercise and enjoy family time. I believe that revising my outlook at least annually helps me to maintain focus as time progresses and life's path gets crowded with 'stuff'. Kathy, thank you for your contirbutions.
What a blessing to enjoy work! Good for you for identifying your priorities so clearly, and thank you for sharing your resolutions, Stephanie.
Add new comment